Recently, the media have often published articles about the benefits of sex for health and sex relationships advice. Thanks to them, we know that sex increases life satisfaction, promotes weight loss, reduces stress, improves productivity, and much more.
But sex is important not only for the one person but for the couple as a whole.
Without a healthy sex life, there will be no happy relationship, no matter whether you have just met each other on the best hookup sites or you are already married for 30 years. And the point here is not in the usual sexual routine, but in need to experience maximum intimacy with another person – nothing else, except sex, will give this.
What is important in relationships, and why is sex important in relationships? Here are the main reasons why any couple must have sex.
Sex is, first of all, pleasure and enjoying intimacy, experiencing each other. If partners do not accept their sexuality or have strong feelings of shame and guilt, they may not fully enjoy sex. They are closed and shackled. They do not accept their bodies; they are afraid of the partner’s body and are afraid to try any new sex positions for long-term relationships. They are not able to receive the pleasure that they should receive. Accordingly, pleasure decreases, and along with it, joy and satisfaction in family relationships fade.
When partners can enjoy each other, processes occur in the body that strengthens the relationship. By the way, even in the most favorable period, the possibility of conceiving a child in humans is only 25%. Why should nature set such a low probability of fertilization? Most likely, for the couple to have time to create a close relationship.
A strong bond must be created to take care of the children, as the human baby takes a long time to develop. That is, sexual relations are needed not only to give birth to children but, first of all, to enjoy and communicate with each other.
The more people have sex, the stronger is the intimacy between them. And the stronger the intimacy, the more the couple releases the oxytocin hormone. Oxytocin is also called the hormone of love, sex, and relationships. The higher the oxytocin, the stronger the desire is.
However, there is one “but” – not only the frequency of sex is important, but also its quality. For sex to strengthen relationships, there must be deep communication between people, desire, and trust. If sex is mechanical, much less oxytocin is released, a common sexual routine occurs. Such sex is not perceived at the level of the brain as real intimacy. And most often, this indicates that the relationship is beginning to worsen.
The female reproductive system is designed so that a woman’s libido increases in the presence of orgasms. Hormones, including testosterone, are released, thanks to which her desire for a man grows. That is, the more orgasms, the higher the woman’s libido. The same goes for petting – if partners touch each other, the desire grows (again, oxytocin is released).
Strengthening Physiological and Psychological Health
Sometimes we can use sex for procreation, for stress relief, or kind of communication in family relationships. It improves the mental and physical condition of a person. Sex is a versatile way of relieving stress and even reducing somatic pain. For example, having sex during periods and headaches in women reduces pain. Therefore, if partners do not have any prejudices about this, they can use sex to help each other.
A New Level of Sex
It is in partnerships that sex is fully revealed. It becomes a real pleasure and makes chemistry in relationships important. In casual, spontaneous sex, you can also experience intense pleasure, but it will most often be purely mechanical. And this is not comparable to pleasure based on deep emotional closeness. In a good relationship, sex is like wine – it only gets better over time. Especially if there is no shame, guilt, prejudice, and people are constantly working on sex and relationships.
Growth of Self-Esteem
If people have sex and get pleasure from it, their self-esteem grows. According to psychologists, understanding that you are a good lover, desirable and attractive to your partner is the best way to eliminate fears and self-doubt.
High self-esteem makes people more self-confident; they achieve great success in all areas of life and are not afraid to make decisions and take risks. Therefore, do not underestimate the role of sex as proof of your attractiveness and boost your self-confidence.
The Hormone of Happiness
From a physiological point of view, sex is also very valuable. During the process, endorphin is produced, which is called the hormone of happiness. Having sex has a lot more health benefits than trying to enjoy eating chocolate and other tasty carbs.
Happy people are doing well; they are satisfied with their life and relationship. They just enjoy knowing that they can have sex every night or at least use sex gifts for long-distance relationships sex.
Improving Your Relationship
A man who has not had sex for a long time often cannot get rid of negativity and becomes irritable. The same goes for the dissatisfied woman. Such a couple gradually accumulates disappointment, the partner’s habits begin to irritate, even the little things enrage. Having sex is a part of relationship tips for men and women to stay calm and avoid quarrels.
When people are sexually satisfied, they have much less desire to scandal and quarrel, to sort things out. And there are much fewer reasons.
After a stormy night and an orgasm, a woman is very grateful to a man and feels a special closeness. The man also receives a charge of positive energy and is much more optimistic about what is happening.
Proof of Attraction to Each Other
Yes, you need to prove that feelings have not cooled down, that there is still passion and attraction in a relationship. And sex is the best way to do it.
If a woman caresses her man in the evening, if he regularly tells her how good it was in bed, this brings them very close. Each partner gets confidence that the family relationship has not weakened; everything is fine.
Having sex regularly is the best remedy for jealousy. The couple has no reason to suspect each other of something; trust is a constant closeness feeling. Why is trust important in relationships? It means that there will be much fewer quarrels and disagreements.
An Indicator of Harmony in Relationships
If something goes wrong in a couple’s sex, this is an indicator that a crisis has begun in the relationship as a whole. So the romance has passed, something needs to be changed. Partners living together should feel sexually attracted to each other. If not, it’s time to take action. For example, go on a vacation, just two of you, and seduce each other. It is simply impossible to return romance into a relationship without intimacy.
Sex helps revive fading feelings. If one of the partners begins to think that romance is gone forever, it is destroyed by routine, and then regular sex will help eliminate this feeling. Sex should be an integral part of a healthy man-woman relationship. Mutual attraction and pleasure from intimate relationships are the simplest tips on healthy relationships that positively affect feelings.
When a couple is ready to become parents mentally and physically, it greatly enhances intimacy. People are preparing to take their relationship to the next level. And this is a very great pleasure, exceptional closeness. And then, when the baby appears, the couple can easily cope with gaps in sex, fatigue, and other difficulties associated with the appearance of a baby. Here is a relationship tip for women – do not forget about intimacy with your husband as it will help you cope with difficulties after childbirth.
What Do Researchers Say?
As the scientists explain, after sex, the partners have a “residual effect” for almost two days, which plays an important role in strengthening the bond between people.
According to Andrea Meltzer, a psychologist at Florida State University (USA), sexual satisfaction remains at an increased level for 48 hours after intimacy. It helps maintain the attachment of partners to each other, writes Science Daily.
Moreover, it turned out that the spouses who are most satisfied with their sex life show a higher degree of satisfaction in the couple’s relationship in the long term.
To test their hypothesis, the scientists examined data from 2 independent studies.
In the first, 98 newlywed couples were involved in the second – 118. Before going to bed, the participants noted whether they had sex that day.
Regardless of the answer, they also rated their level of sexual satisfaction that day and noted how satisfied they were with their partner, relationship, and marriage on a 7-point scale. The researchers further checked the couples’ responses after 4-6 months.
On average, people made love four times during the 14-day study, although the actual number of sex varied significantly from couple to couple.
Those spouses who had more intimacy reported greater sexual satisfaction that day and two next days. This research applied to all participants regardless of gender, age, length of the relationship, personal characteristics, and regularity of sexual activity. More sex means more happiness in family relationships.
In general, newlyweds’ satisfaction with marriage 4-6 months later was lower than at the very beginning.
However, those who were more satisfied with their sex life stated that:
- initially, the great joy of marriage was noted;
- showed less decline after 4-6 months.
The research findings speak for themselves: couples who have sex more often have a stronger bond.
How Sex Problems Destroy Relationships: Five Consequences
Here are five consequences that should warn couples who are struggling with a lack of physical attraction or sex in a relationship.
When a couple lacks passion, sex, and physical attraction, there can be a gap that others can take advantage of. Some people swear that despite the fact that they are not attracted to partners, they will never cheat. And many of them don’t lie. But if they happen to meet someone who turns them on, then the attraction may be too strong and lead to romance. And as soon as sex occurs, the chances for the existing relationship collapse.
In the absence of physical attraction, there is less room for error. As soon as something goes wrong, everything can quickly collapse as the lack of attraction often turns into disgust. For example, a woman who claimed she had never been attracted to her husband became disgusted with him when his income declined. After that, she could not even kiss him; just the thought of being around caused nausea.
One of the tactics people use to avoid intimacy is indifference. When partners are not attracted to each other or are still recovering sex addict relationships, they often seek out additional activities for themselves. For example, a husband would consistently agree to overtime work to avoid having sex with his wife. One woman stated that she only wanted sex in the morning when her husband hardly had enough time to shower before work. Emotional withdrawal is often used by partners who are not interested in being close to each other. For example, one woman said that although her boyfriend
When people find themselves in relationships that do not meet their needs, they tend to abuse. They seem to consider the partner responsible for their misfortune. The offenses can be both verbal and physical.
Sooner or later, if one partner is not satisfied with the relationship, the match will be at risk. This rule is universal but especially true for couples in whom there is no physical and sexual attraction.
Times have changed, and gone are the days when women tolerated relationships with men to whom they were not attracted, next to whom they did not feel loved and desired. Men are also better at assessing their need for intimacy. Physical attraction and closeness are more important than ever in maintaining a healthy and lasting relationship. If you ignore them, the consequences will be too serious.
Now you know how sex affects relationships. Therefore, work on your relationship, share your experiences, and talk about all the sex problems in relationships; if necessary, seek help from a specialist. A good relationship should bring good sex. One that would satisfy both partners. Do not turn sex into duty; do not use it as a reward for something or an object of blackmail. At the same time, don’t do what you don’t like to please your partner. Strive for mutual joy and satisfaction.
Please share your experience with us. What advice do you find the most valuable?
Cari Carter is a psychologist and blogger from the USA. She writes articles based on her personal practice and surveys of people. She is an open-minded and purposeful woman, who is always eager to share her experience with you. Besides psychology, her favorite activities are horse riding, cycling, and running. But most of all, she loves her boyfriend Thomas and these two adorable dogs: Sunny and Chewie.