“Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone, to experience, appreciate, and love yourself” – Robert Tow
Often underrated but a very crucial part of a relationship is the requirement for space in it. Most people take it in a very negative way, where they consider space to be a very daunting abstract and refuse to give it. Truth be told, forcing yourself to be there in the relationship can only take a turn for the worst. While it might seem selfish at first, if you have never had space in a relationship, you would end up feeling claustrophobic in it.
Quoting cult American drama FRIENDS, where the relationship dynamic between two lead characters, Ross and Rachel, typically surrounded them taking a “break” they ended up coming back to each other, no matter what. Space in a relationship, in a similar way, gives you enough time to work on yourself and improve your soul. Having said so, even when Ross and Rachel were on a break, there was a debate about who was correct, and the opinions, undoubtedly, were divided. That is why you must speak to your partners about the reason you require the space and then work around it. Or else, either of you might end up doing something wrong that is unforgivable. (Think Ross here, I am not kidding).
Yes, drawing from characters of a fictional show might seem very distracting when we are discussing a subject as complex as space in a relationship, but there couldn’t have been an apt example. The space we are talking about might differ from couple to couple. While some might be more into staying apart from each other for a certain point of time, the others might focus more on interference in daily life.
How Does Space Enhance the Beauty of a Relationship?
There are always couples you see in your friend’s circle who are together at all times. No matter what they do or where they are, both of them are always seen with each other. THAT, trust me, is not healthy. Why do you ask? Well, in this way, you end up losing your individuality.
Now let’s take a situation in mind. What happens when one of you, in your job (where probably both of you do not work together), gets busy, and the other, since they know nothing without you, has nothing else left to do? The answer is simple – you end up fighting after a few days. This fight, as often wrongly conceived, is not about ending your relationship, or doesn’t mean that you no longer love each other. It is the claustrophobia and the incapability of not being able to do anything on your own that creeps up your throat. Having space in a relationship ensures that you do not lose your own identity in the process of falling in love. Even if you are in a long-term relationship or married to someone, having your own identity is crucial in the process of having a happy and healthy relationship.
• Realize They Might Need Space Too: The key to a successful relationship is understanding each other’s requirements. You would have to realize that spending too much time with each other would mean equal pressure on both you and your partner. If you start believing in this, you would also appreciate the nuances in a relationship where you can easily read their mood swings. A decrease in the happiness level along with discomfort and the disinterested vibe is all the signs that you see. Always keep in mind that if you do not provide your partner with a happy and satisfying space, you would not get that in return as well.
• Work on Your Relationship Goals: You must know that it takes two to tango. You cannot do things alone in a relationship and feel good about it every time. Having friends and hanging out with them can ultimately make you miss your partner more and value the relationship better. It can make you not only happy but more sorted, ensuring that you reline the values of your relationship. Take time out and go out with friends of the same or opposite gender to understand what makes your relationship unique. Unlike what most of the world sees it as this would not mean that you have a struggling relationship. It makes both of you stronger than before, ensuring that you get back to working on your relationship together.
• Reducing the Arguments: It is quite natural that your partner and you argue a lot when it comes to the relationship, and that is just because you spend considerable time with each other. This rises because of the frustration of not being able to do anything else apart from being with each other. There comes a point of time when you know everything about your partner, and there is nothing new to discover. This might reduce the spark in your relationship, thereby making it boring. Well, giving space in the relationship would ensure that both of you spend enough time with and without each other so that you have many more things to talk about.
A thumb rule to a happy relationship is being YOU.
There are moments in your life when you feel like you have no idea where you are going and what you are supposed to do. You might feel empty inside, and the sensation of not having anything else to offer to your partner might overwhelm you to the power of suffocation. Now let me take this moment to ask you, is that a sign of a healthy relationship? No right?
To ensure that you do not lose hope on yourself, you need to never succumb to the pressure of a relationship. Fulfill each other’s desires and dreams, all the while being sure that it doesn’t affect yours. This would give you a sense of trust within yourself, which would also show in your relationship.
Communication is the Key
You must never forget that the true thread of a bond lies in a thin line of communication. The relationship should focus on the same way you courted your partner when everything was in the honeymoon phase. No issue is ever small enough, and if you feel like something is bothering you, you must always say that out loud. However, always going to your partner and speaking about things that worry you, might not be good either.
Knowing exactly where to start and stop, ensures that the thin line of trust never breaks, no matter what. If you see that that you are getting signals from your partner that something or the other is bothering him or her for a long time now, speak your heart out. A successful relationship has always been on co-dependence, and if you do not tread that line carefully, toxicity can creep its way through soon.
A Vital Sign of Space is the Uniqueness of it
Remember the beginning of your relationship when everything was hunky-dory, and you were blindly in love with your partner? Well, reality says that you were wearing rose-tinted glasses. If you end up dragging this “couple-vibes” “always together” feeling for a long time, you have morphed into the other. This takes away the uniqueness of your relationship.
There is no hard and fast rule when it comes to living a comfortable and satisfying life with your partner. All you have to do is go for various formulas to see what works best for you. It goes without saying that if your friends are happy in their lives with a particular lifestyle, it doesn’t mean you would be fortunate to like it as well. So, never go by the rules others have set for their relations and find your uniqueness.
While we are at it, let me mention this loud and clear – DO NOT FEAR THE JUDGEMENT of other couples. The twenty-first century is all about the changing relationship dynamics and experimentation. So, if you are confident about your relationship and see things crystal from your end, nothing could stop you from leading a satisfying life with your partner.
Variety is the Spice of Life
If you are in a space where things are complicated, and you feel that spicing up time in your bedroom might give you that versatility in the relationship, try that as well. In case your whole idea of being suffocated in the relation is surrounded the sexual health and satisfaction, you can opt for options such as various adult novelties. For men, the new platinum sexual enhancement pill works wonders. For women, you can check out the variety of lingerie available. Abiding by these specific rules and recommendations can not only make your relationship more stable but give it a much deeper meaning.
Giving yourself and your partner enough time to understand each other more than anything is crucial, should you be looking for an ever-lasting relationship. One of the greatest gifts you can get one another is the gift of time, and no one but you can give your partner that. For that, you would have to know yourself more than anything else, and the best way to do that is by giving each other space.
Author’s Bio: Sharanya Bhattacharya is a writer with a keen interest in the nuances of a relationship. She writes about anything under the sun but prefers to share her insightful comments on strengthening the bond of love. She spends her time studying human behavior and writing on mental and sexual health. In her free time, she is not only a music aficionado but is an ardent fan of romantic thriller books.