Hey, my name is Natalia.
Let’s talk about something that gets on my nerves for quite some time now. Some people can’t get over the fact that lubricants have been invented to enhance sexual experience, and to ease the pain for women who are experiencing discomfort due to vaginal dryness.
Sometimes I bring up the lube topic when in company of my girl-friends, and there is always at least one of them, who gives me that look. Yeah, you know the look basically saying: “You’re using a lube? You little slut!”
I therefore came here to ask: Is using a lube a slutty thing, and will it make me look bad if I bring lube to first-time sex with my new boyfriend?
People at this website were kind enough, to provide me with answers from 9 people; 4 women and 5 men. All the answers are presented below. By doing this, we shed light on what people really think about using personal lubricants. Does it make you a slut?
For all women who came here looking for answers to:
- Is using lube a bad thing?
- Does it make me a slut if I carry lube around in my purse?
- What men will think of me, if i bring out the lube?
- Is it OK to use lube?
- Is using lube common?
… and other similar questions, you can be sure that you’ll learn new things that random people, from different cultures, all around the world, have to say about lube use.
You won’t have to wonder any longer what that guy you’ve recently slept with thought about you, when you pulled out that intimate bottle of wet stuff from your purse.
So, is it slutty to bring a lube for first-time sex with a new BF? – Below are the answers.
#1 – Karin from New Zealand, 48/F, says:
Actually, I quite honestly don’t know the answer to this question. I am now in perimenopause period of my life so vaginal dryness is something that I’m experiencing at the moment. Using a lube helps me a lot. Having sex without the lube, for me, it is unimaginable.
But if I were to meet a new guy, I would be ashamed to bring the lube with me. I am afraid he might get the wrong opinion about me, which would make me look bad. I honestly don’t know. For me, it does feel a bit slutty, if you go into the bed with a new guy and you suddenly have a bottle of intimate lubricant in your hands. How to explain that it’s for those vaginal pain issues I’m having during the intercourse?
#2 – Martin from Slovenia, 28/M, says:
Well, if I were to end up in a bed with a new girl, and she’d bring out the bottle of lube from somewhere, I would certainly be surprised. But that would be the good kind of surprise. I don’t think I would judge her for that.
However, I would later ask her about it. Like how come she had a lube on her at that time. But in no way, I would think anything bad about her. I’d just find it strange (again, in a good way) that she surprised me.
#3 – Henry from UK, 32/M, says:
Lube is a thing that is used for sex. If a woman is carrying around the bottle of lube. It means she is prepared to have sex, and that she thinks about sex. If I’d met a woman who’d pop out with the lube on our first night, I would definitely find it a little slutty to say the least. If it’s a one night stand it’s fine with me, but if I was planing a serious relationship with that woman, the lube would bother me.
#4 – Vladimir from Russia, 49/M, says:
In my age I am already used to female problems. So, I wouldn’t think that anything pervy is going on if a woman I’m sleeping with would bring out the lube. She is willing to have sex with me, and obviously she enjoys sex better with the use of a personal lubricant.
Actually when I think about it, if she did that after she had seen my penis, that would even make me more confident – like maybe it’s because of the size of my “tool” that she wants to use the lube?
#5 – Dragica from Croatia, 35/F, says:
Hehe. I did it once. I was with this new guy (now ex), and when we would engage in late night activities for the first time, I happened to have the bottle of K-Y Jelly with me. You should see his face when I reached for the purse and pulled that thing up. He was shocked. I simply said: “I can feel what you’re hiding down there, and it’s no way we’re doing it without the lubrication.” – He seemed very satisfied and I don’t think he ever made anything bad about it. It’s all about the presentation, in my humble opinion.
#6 – Helen from US, 23/F, says:
I am not the most experienced person to be asked about this, but it certainly feels to me as a thing that a slutty girl would be doing – even if she isn’t!
I mean what would you think if she pulled out a dildo? Something must be wrong with her. She’s probably sleeping with a different guy every day. Or why is she carrying sexual props around with her like her life depends on it?
I honestly can’t say any different, but carrying lube around indeed does make you a slut.
#7 – Aylin from Turkey, 19/F, says:
I have never used an intimate lube in my life. Maybe later I will, but there so far hasn’t been any real reason for it. I think people who like it, have every right of doing so. Like some people can’t live without the gum, some people can’t live without their cellphones, and every individual has their own preferences.
It reminds me of this poor girl, who liked to dress attractively. We were in the same school. She was nice and didn’t sleep around with boys. But everyone started gossiping about her, how she is probably slutty, etc. Do not judge so fast, it is wrong. Try knowing the person first.
#8 – Andy from Scotland, 41/M, says:
Hey, I did my research and did you know that more than 20% of all women, have used lube in the last month? (here’s the source). And more than 65% of women worldwide have reported that in some point of their lives they used lube. There are female issues that guys will never understand. Like vaginal dryness, vaginal pain, being unable to relax or to lubricate properly. If the lube helps a woman to have better sex, I say “why not”. It doesn’t make her a slut. It makes her a person who’s trying to enjoy life and have some good sex … with you!
#9 – Charles from US, 30/M, says:
I am quite open for these things. If a woman surprises me with a new set of lingerie, or with a lube in this case, it would make me happy. I wouldn’t judge her. It shows that she cares for you. Many people overthink things, and try find deeper meaning in stuff that are plain simple.
She likes to do it with extra lubrication, that’s all. Why would that be slutty? Is wearing lace underwear slutty too? What isn’t slutty then?
Am I a slut if I bring a lube for the first night with my new BF?
Based on the answers we’ve managed to collect, it depends on who you are meeting with.
If the guy is conservative and sex is a taboo topic for him, then pulling out the lube will probably make him wonder about you. He might have doubts about your personality and think that you are a “dirty girl”.
Meeting a guy who is open minded, shouldn’t end up with such results. Open minded people are aware of the fact, that some ladies need extra lubrication due to health issues.
I will end my article like this:
Bringing the lube for first-time sex with a new boyfriend may not be a “normal” thing to do. And many guys tend to get the first impression of you being a slut. But if you manage to find a good excuse you should be fine, and he’ll stop thinking about it.
Just don’t pretend it’s all normal, and ignore the fact that you just pulled a bottle of lube out of your purse.
It is much better if you say something like:
“I hope you don’t mind a little extra lubrication. I’m having problems lately with my wetness down there, so this helps me a lot.” – Every guy will understand that.
And if you want to make him confident:
“I am sorry but you are very well endowed, I am afraid of pain down there. I happen to have a bottle of lube on me, do you mind if we use it?” – You just made his day.
I’d say that communication is the key. The way you present your actions, will have an enormous effect on what the guy thinks of you. It may not appear slutty to bring a lube for first-time sex with your new boyfriend, if your verbal skills are good.
That’s the end of it. Thank you! :)