Boring Sex: Ways to Spice up Sex in Your Relationship


Do you find sex boring? There are many ways to spice it up!

Once upon a time, there lived a princess, beautiful in every aspect of the word. Everything about her was breathtaking; therefore, it came as no surprise when suitors came from all over the kingdom seeking her hand in marriage… Then, of course, there’s an evil witch or stepmother, but in the end, the princess marries a handsome prince, and they lived happily ever after. We all wish we could be the prince or princess getting happily ever after. Sadly, only a handful of us will get to experience that. Relationships are a bit complex. There are intricate details which, if not taken care of or ignored, spell doom for any relationship. The subject of sex is one of them.

Can boring sex ruin a relationship? What causes boring sex? Why is sex boring in marriage? These are among the many questions we ask ourselves about coitus and relationships. Well, having boring sex in a relationship will most likely destroy it. However, there’s no cause for alarm because we’ll tell you how to fix boring sex. By the end of this read, we believe you’ll have understood boring sex meaning, know the boring sex signs to look out for, and importantly have the necessary tools to tackle the issue.

1.    Communicate With Each Other

Communication is crucial to having a healthy partnership

Being happy is the key to Spice up Sex in Your Relationship

Did you know that communication was among the key factors in the advancement of societies? Without communication, very little could have probably been done. Dating, like any other human interaction, relies heavily on communication. Being able to talk to your partner is crucial to the growth of your friendship. For any individual to candidly express themselves without fear of judgment depends on the kind of communication you have in the relationship.

Among the primary reasons why online dating works and resources such as Dating Rating flourish is that people often have expressed their likes and dislikes on their bio. Therefore, should you choose them, you know exactly what to expect and their expectations of you.

Can boring sex ruin a relationship? Yes, especially when communication is not good. Be able to communicate that sex is boring how to spice it up will not be a challenging task. It’s advisable to continually talk about your love life with one another.

2.    Go to Therapy if Necessary

Whether married or dating, lovemaking sessions need to be at par with your expectations. Otherwise, you’ll be left feeling dissatisfied. Well, you could pretend to be happy for a while, but it won’t last for long. Chances are, in the long run, you’ll start looking for satisfaction elsewhere, and that will create a host of other problems. It’s for this reason that seeking medical attention might be necessary. A therapist will help you answer‘Why can boring sex ruin a relationship?’ which is a question that many have asked themselves.

We always assume that our unexciting love life is because we’ve fallen out of love with our partner but more than often, there’s more to it. Other culprits include depression, anxiety, or underlying medical conditions that have not yet been diagnosed. Going to a therapist will help you figure it out.

3.    Creativity is the King of Sex

So what do you do when sex becomes boring? The solution could be as simple as some creativity. Like everything else we choose to do, just a bit of imagination could be the game-changer. More than often, what causes boring sex is doing the same things repeatedly, creating some monotony. Following the same routines tends to kill the joy and excitement out of it.

Creativity breeds a whole list of ideas that you can explore to make things more exciting. Take, for instance, love making positions. Imagine doing the same style for an entire year; chances are by the time you’re on your six month, you’ll be quite bored. Switching positions, masturbating together, and blow jobs are things you can apply creativity to spice things up.

4.    Can Playing with Toys Be One Way of How to Fix Boring Sex?

It would be impossible to discuss how to fix boring sex without mentioning sex toys. It’s safe to say they were invented with the sole purpose of making love more fun and exciting. There are various sex toys in the market from multiple companies. Therefore, there’s no doubt you’ll find something perfect for your relationship. They are constantly upgraded to meet clientele needs and demands.

Frankly speaking, we’re lucky to be alive at this particular period in time. A couple of decades back and the subject of sex toys was almost taboo. Today, they are available in nearly every street corner, and rarely will people judge. The beauty of it all is the fact that you can always seek advice when in doubt. At the store, you’ll probably find some help on what to get, plus you can always Google. In fact, you can also find reviews for the different products online!

5.    It Could Be the Contraceptive You’re On

Contraceptives can affect libido

pills drugs contraception can affect libido

There’s a long list of boring sex signs, and therefore you’ll most likely never miss it. The disinterest and lack of excitement about your lovemaking will be impossible not to note. Sometimes or rather more than often, we’ll try to sweep the issue under the rug but rarely does it stay hidden for long before it rears its ugly head. That doesn’t need to be the case. Talking about the issue with your partner and seeking help are vital as they might reveal unexpected realizations. Well, it could be your contraceptive!

Yes, the family planning method could be the problem. The solution could be as simple as discontinuing that particular alternative. Without talking and trying to get to the bottom of the boring sex issue, chances most women will never find out unless they are keen. The majority of the methods used tend to have an impact on libido.

6.    Porn Offers Multiple Ideas

There’s no room for boring sex regardless of whether you’re dating or are married. It’s almost ironic that that would be the case considering all the alternatives that are at our disposal. Pornographic materials are an option. There’s a whole list of ways you can take advantage of this particular option. However, it is essential to recognize that porn addiction is actually a problem that exists in society. Should That be the case, then this solution might not be the best for your relationship.

There are several ways you can use porn to spice up things. Well, you can watch together, which will most likely steam up things. Remember, the atmosphere, too, does matter. You could also decide to take it a step further and try some of the things you see. That is as long as you don’t make the other person feel uncomfortable by doing something they don’t want, or that could endanger both of you.

7.    Play Games

Roleplaying is not a new phenomenon in relationships, regardless of the stage it’s in. It’s one of the most played games to make things exciting in the bedroom. Playing doctor/nurse is one of the most popular role playing games. Several other roleplaying options to explore are available. There are no limits. Simply put your creativity to use.

When sex is boring, how to spice it up isn’t much of a hurdle, mostly when you and your partner operate on the same frequency with regards to understanding and satisfying each other’s needs.Roleplaying isn’t the only game you can play. There are other options such as strip poker or twists to commonly played games such as scrabble and hide and seek.

8.    Try Sexting

Are you too old to be sexting? Definitely no, that’s because there’s no age limit for having fun when living your life to the fullest. A word of caution though mainly to the teens and the twenty something’s’, be careful of the person you chose to sext with. Not everyone will protect your data while some are out to expose your fantasies. Many people have had their info exposed, resulting in them being bullied, which eventually led to the majority of them being depressed, some to the extent of committing suicide.

If you’re simply dating or are married, sexting creates an air of anticipation and desire, which sets the mood for exciting sex. That’s especially when the other party lives up to your expectations in detail. You can sext on any device and through various social media platforms. Flirtatious messages and nudes are popular when sexting. If you’re wondering how to go about sexting, Google offers plenty of advice and ideas.

Note: There are laws that govern sexting. Be aware of them before proceeding. Importantly, it has to be between two consenting adults. NOT, between an adult and a minor or between minors.

9.    Surprise Each Other

Why is sex boring in marriage? Among the primary reasons could be because most individuals stop putting effort into spicing things up. Not because they don’t want to, but more often it’s because of getting overwhelmed with married life…children, etc. Set routines, although dangerous they are necessary for smooth operations in the home.

There’s no reason why one would experience boring sex regardless of how busy or overwhelmed they are. Sometimes, it’s the small things we do that keeps the fire burning.Examples include showering together, stripping down to your birthday suit to welcome your partner home, serving dinner, or having quickies in random unexpected places.

10.  Sex Becomes Boring When We Get Cozy with Routines

Again, why is sex boring in marriage? Because we stop making an effort to spice things up. Like many other things in life, getting cozy tends to hinder progress and, in some cases, has gone to the extent of causing regression. Sex becomes boring; we let routines take over. If you’re used to him being on top, love making the missionary way, maybe it’s time you switched places and have you on top. A bit of Kama sutra would also be an excellent addition to your sex life.

11.  Dedicate Time for Sex

Deliberately set aside time for your lovemaking sessions. Every couple ought to purpose to be enjoying coitus whenever and wherever they can. It’s advice that applies to all couples, whether dating or married. Everything good takes time; it’s a resource we must use to have a working love life. Intentionally setting aside some time to have sex has a positive impact on relationships, not just in lovemaking but also in how you interact.

12.  Let Loose

Fear is crippling. It’s the number one reason we fail to realize greatness. Yes, the unknown is a bit scary, but it’s only when we embrace the fear and use it as a motivator that we get to experience all that life has to offer and in full.

Sometimes, couples can be afraid of expressing themselves, which in turn impacts their sex life. Couples, especially those that have created an excellent rapport with one other, shouldn’t be fearful of letting loose. Expressing fantasies generate excitement and boost one’s love life.  Have the kind of relationship where you can express yourself without the fear of being judged harshly. Create an environment where one can comfortably express desire and needs that they expect can be met.


Good sexing is all about the vibes

dress sexy for your partner - sex is all about the vibes

There’s no reason why you should be having boring sex in this day and age. Not when there are various resources at your disposal that you could explore to spice things up. Even though we’ve offered some twelve solutions to that specific issue, sometimes, it all boils down to your willingness as a couple to work together. Regardless of how right a solution is, if you don’t support each other or communicate, the idea will not be useful.

Have you ever been in such a situation before? Please share with us some of the things that worked for you.

Author’s bio:  

Miranda Davis is a freelance writer in the relation and psychology area. Miranda is interested in such topics as building healthy relationships between people, love/sex compatibility, and how to find the right balance in life in general. She is currently doing specific research on the topic. Miranda loves cooking and long-distance walking.


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